Bareback Sex and You

Some men choose to have ‘bareback sex’ (anal sex without a condom). At ACT, we encourage men to practice safer sex by using latex condoms and water-based lubricant for anal sex. This is the best way of avoiding HIV infection, HIV transmission, reinfection with a different strain of HIV, or infection with other sexually transmitted infections (STIs). However, we also respect the decisions men make for themselves. Our hope is that men can make fully-informed and conscientious decisions based on accurate information, if they choose to engage in anal sex without a condom.

All adults have the right to choose the type of sex they want to have. People have the right to decide what level of risk they are willing to accept for themselves. However, here are some guidelines you can consider if you’re thinking about bareback sex:

    • Make sure your partner is actually consenting (agreeing) to bareback sex: he shouldn’t be drunk or high, or in any other type of altered state that may prevent him from making a decision he wouldn’t normally make for himself. Just because a partner didn't ask to use a condom, doesn't necessarily mean he's wanting to have bareback sex: perhaps he's making an assumption about your HIV status, or he doesn't feel he can ask to use a condom. Think about this.
    • If you are HIV-positive, you should be aware of the legal obligations surrounding HIV disclosure (ie telling your HIV status). For more infomration about this check out this page.
    • Use lots of water-based lube when fucking. Keep applying lube as you fuck. Lube will minimize the risk of tears, which allow a route of entry for HIV. Avoid using saliva for lube.
    • Spread your barebacking adventures over time to allow any potential tears in your ass to heal.
    • Fucking shouldn’t hurt. If it does, stop.
    • Early withdrawal does not reduce the risk for HIV transmission, as pre-cum can also contain HIV. Early withdrawal also does not prevent the transmission of other STIs (like syphilis).
    • Don’t fuck if you have open sores on your dick.
    • Don’t get fucked if you have sores around your ass.
    • Before getting fucked, relax your asshole as much as possible: get finger-fucked or rimmed (lots of foreplay!). Avoid using anything to relax your asshole that has been in anyone else's asshole.
    • Avoid douching (washing inside the ass). Douching removes the natural protective membrane in the ass. If you still choose to douche, use warm water only.
    • Urinate (pee) immediately after fucking. This can help to clean out the urethra (pee passage).

Some questions you may have about bareback sex.

1. How risky is barebacking for HIV transmission?
2. How safe is barebacking for other sexually transmitted infections (STIs)?
3. Is it true the ‘top’ is at less risk for getting HIV than the ‘bottom’?
4. I have weighed the pros and cons of barebacking, and I’ve decided to do it. Is there anything wrong with that?
5. I’m HIV-positive and I choose to bareback. Why don’t other guys take responsibility for protecting themselves if they want to?
6. I’m HIV-negative and I choose to bareback. Wouldn’t someone who is HIV-positive tell me before having sex?
7. I’m HIV-positive and I only bareback because I feel I will be rejected if I tell my potential partners of my status.
8. I’m HIV-negative and I’m concerned if I ask to use a condom, my partner might believe I am HIV-positive
9. My partner and I are both HIV-positive. Why shouldn’t we bareback?
10. I feel guilty whenever I bareback. Why do I sometimes slip up and have unprotected sex?
11. I bareback because it’s an intimate feeling; I feel closer to my partner.

1. How risky is barebacking for HIV transmission?

Let’s break down the possibilities.
    • If you and your partner are both HIV-negative, then there’s obviously no risk for HIV transmission. However, you may not really know the HIV status of your partner, or you may be assuming that his HIV status is the same as yours. In addition, you might think that you are HIV-negative because you got tested: but when were you last tested for HIV? Six months ago? A year ago? Longer? Have you had unprotected anal sex with others since your test, and as a result become infected with HIV? You might have HIV and not know it: studies have shown that almost 25% of men who think they are HIV negative actually have HIV.
    • If you are HIV-negative while your partner is HIV-positive, unprotected anal sex is high risk for HIV transmission. The Canadian AIDS Society’s HIV Transmission Guidelines define high-risk practices as those presenting the potential for HIV transmission because they involve an exchange of body fluids such as semen, vaginal fluid, blood or breast milk. In addition, a significant number of scientific studies have repeatedly associated those practices with HIV infection.

2. How safe is barebacking for other sexually transmitted infections (STIs)?

There are several STIs that you are at risk of getting if you have bareback sex. These include chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, genital warts, herpes and syphilis. Having an STI can weaken your immune system, which is a concern if you are living with HIV. Having an STI also increases the risk of HIV transmission. We've seen a dramatic increase in syphilis among gay and bisexual men in Toronto. Syphilis can be easily spread through bareback (condomless) anal sex.

3. Is it true the ‘top’ is at less risk for getting HIV than the ‘bottom’?

Research has shown that the top is at less risk for getting HIV than the bottom. HOWEVER, the difference in the level of risk is small. It’s like comparing a hurricane to a tropical storm: one might technically be stronger than the other, but would you want to step into either one?

4. I have weighed the pros and cons of barebacking, and I’ve decided to do it. Is there anything wrong with that?

Only you should decide what to do with your life. If you have decided to bareback, take a look at the tips (above) to reduce your risks from bareback sex.
Whether or not bareback sex is “wrong” really depends on how each of us feels about it. Some guys feel very strongly that it is wrong; they feel it is their responsibility to themselves and to their community to use condoms when they fuck. Other guys feel it is right – at least for them. They may feel that condoms are too great of a restriction on their sexual freedom or pleasure. They may have HIV and feel comfortable with the risks associated with unprotected anal sex with other HIV-positive men. They may feel that condom use is an individual choice, and that men who choose bareback sex are aware of the possibility that they might have sex with someone who is HIV-positive.

5. I’m HIV-positive and I choose to bareback. Why don’t other guys take responsibility for protecting themselves if they want to?

Well, some men assume that if their partner doesn't tell them they are HIV-positive then they must be HIV-negative. If you are HIV-positive, and don't tell your partner, and he assumes you are HIV-nagative, you are putting him at risk for HIV. What is true is that everyone should take responsibility for protecting themselves, and their sex partners.

There are many reasons why some men will consent to bareback sex without knowing the HIV status of their sexual partner:
    • They may have HIV and assume that their partner also has HIV;
    • They may be HIV-negative and assume that their partner is HIv-nagative;
    • They may be uncomfortable or afraid to mention condom use for fear of being rejected;
    • They may be anxious about using condoms for fear of losing their erection;
    • They may be really turned on during sex and decide, at the moment, that it’s worth the risk;
    • They may be drunk or high.

6. I’m HIV-negative and I choose to bareback. Wouldn’t someone who is HIV-positive tell me before having sex?

Many men might think they are HIV-negative (because their last HIV test was 'negative'), but may have done something since that last test to cause them to become infected with HIV. They assume they are HIV-nagative, but aren't. Studies have shown that most new HIV transmission happens between guys who think they are both HIV-negative, but one of them has been recently infected with HIV and doesn't yet know it.

Also, not all men may disclose that they have HIV before having sex with you. There are many reasons for this. They might assume that since you didn’t ask to use a condom, you are also HIV-positive. It takes a lot of guts to tell someone you have HIV. Often, HIV-positive men are rejected once they reveal their HIV-status, but if they don’t say anything, they won’t get rejected. In a casual encounter, what would you do?

7. I’m HIV-positive and I only bareback because I feel I will be rejected if I tell my potential partners of my status.

This is a valid concern. We all know that discrimination happens against people who are HIV-positive - even within the gay community. Remind your partner that people who are HIV-negative should also be using condoms, as someone could be infected and not know it: often people have had risky sex since their last HIV test.

8. I’m HIV-negative and I’m concerned if I ask to use a condom, my partner might believe I am HIV-positive.

That could happen. But what if your partner is HIV-positive and believes that you are also HIV-positive since you did not ask to use a condom? You could tell your partner that you’re HIV-negative and would like to use a condom. If he then says ‘if you know you’re HIV-negative, why not forget the condom’, you can tell him that there are other sexually transmitted infections to think about. You can also remind him that up to 25% of men who think they are HIV-negative, are in fact HIV-positive - they may have tested quite some time ago, and got HIV since then. They think they are HIV-negative, but in fact they aren't.

9. My partner and I are both HIV-positive. Why shouldn’t we bareback?

It’s your choice to bareback. We’re not saying you should or shouldn’t do it. We are, however, asking you to consider there are other strains of HIV that can infect you or your partner(s). This may mean that your current HIV medications may not be as effective, or you may limit future treatment options by becoming infected with a drug-resistant strain of HIV.

In addition, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), like syphilis, are still a risk to you, and can compromise your ability to fight HIV. STIs increase your viral load (a measure of the amount of HIV in your blood), and certain STIs can progress much more rapidly in people living with HIV. If you are HIV-positive and have bareback sex, it's important to get tested regularly for STIs and Hepatitis C.

10. I feel guilty whenever I bareback. Why do I sometimes slip up and have unprotected sex?

We’re all human. Nobody is perfect. Try to better understand the situations in which you get involved in unprotected sex. Where are you usually? How are you typically feeling? What reasoning do you use to make it more acceptable for yourself? Does your partner pressure you?

Remember that just because you might occasionally 'slip up' and have unprotected sex doesn't mean you are necessarily a hard-core 'barebacker'.
Some men feel that sex without a condom is more care-free, more pleasurable and exciting. Others are worried about rejection, or about losing their erection. If you really want to be useing condoms for anal sex (and there are good reasons to do this!), there are ways you can experience intense pleasure and intimacy. You can learn to wear a condom and keep your penis hard.

11. I bareback because it’s an intimate feeling; I feel closer to my partner.

Some men believe having unprotected anal sex is the ultimate, most intimate, sex act. There’s nothing wrong with believing that. But what about other sexual acts that might give you the same, or perhaps an acceptable level of intimacy with your partner? There are many ways to feel intimacy with a partner and anal sex without a condom is only one of them.


Updated March 2010.