How Do You Know What You Know?: Brochure text

Most of us have learned to use condoms because we realize they are the best way of reducing the chance of getting or passing on HIV when having anal sex. But do you realize that more gay men are fucking without condoms these days? Evidence shows that more gay and bisexual men are having unprotected anal sex with men whose HIV status they don't know, and the number of new HIV infections has increased.

Most of us have heard all we want about using condoms. And we know it's not as simple as ‘just put one on’. HIV is still hard to discuss, especially when we're close to a good fuck. So instead, a lot of us try guessing the other guy’s HIV status and then make decisions about condom use.

What assumptions do we make about our partner's HIV status when we don't know for sure? We look for different clues. And we send out signals about our own HIV status, too. Sometimes we get it right. Sometimes we don't. Usually, it's hard to know for sure.


So, how do you know what you know?

There are lots of reasons why you might not always use a condom. Maybe you simply assume the guy has the same HIV status without ever asking. Maybe you assume that he knows his HIV status. Maybe you assume you can tell whether or not he has HIV just by the way he looks. Maybe you make an assumption about his HIV status based on his age or his cultural background or how ‘hot’ he looks. All of this being said, the best way to avoid getting or passing on HIV is to use a latex condom and water-based lube every time you have anal sex with someone. That’s the ideal situation. Condoms also help protect against getting other sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Having an STI can increase your risk of getting or passing on HIV. But we know that sometimes we don’t find ourselves in an ideal situation.


Every time you fuck with somebody new, there's a chance the other guy doesn't have the same HIV status as you. If you can't be sure, and you fuck without condoms, there's a risk that one of you could get HIV.

    • Sometimes it seems like it's impossible to talk about HIV/AIDS. So some men avoid the issue altogether and worry about it later. However, some men feel better when they talk about their HIV status first, and then decide how to fuck, depending on each others HIV status.
    • If HIV doesn't come up in the conversation, and you decide not to use a condom, pulling out before cumming (ejaculating), using lots of water-based lube, and not fucking too hard are some ways to reduce the chances of getting or passing on HIV.
    • If you don’t have HIV and you decide to fuck without condoms, it’s usually safer to fuck rather than get fucked. But, even though it’s less likely to get HIV this way, it can still happen.
    • If you have HIV and you decide to fuck without condoms, there’s less risk of transmitting HIV if you get fucked rather than if you fuck. But, even though it’s less likely to pass on HIV this way, it can still happen.
    • Keep in mind these suggestions will not eliminate risk for HIV transmission. You could still get or pass on HIV even if you use these strategies.
    • Get checked out regularly for STIs. If you use drugs, do so carefully and safely. Drink lots of water, eat well, and get enough sleep. All these things will help you stay healthy, and maybe even lower your chances of getting or passing on HIV.

Think Again:

Most of us make some assumptions about the guys we have sex with. How you decide to act on those assumptions can make all the difference. Of course, the choice is yours. But being aware of some of the assumptions we make, and knowing what things make the risks bigger or smaller can help us decide what kind of sex to have.

For more information, to find out about resources in your community, visit us at www.THINK-AGAIN.ca or contact your local AIDS organization.